Taking time

Literary Club member, Kinley, asking for pronunciation help with "Pinocchio"

Agriculture work on Saturday at school. Building fences to keep the pigs out of the potatoes.

Snow. Taken outside my door.

Water has patience

to cleave ravine into rock

by gentle caress

I have lived in Rukubji for over a month now, and have been in Bhutan for two. One thing I know for sure is that living in Bhutan for a year is, and will continue to, teach me patience. Patience can be a challenge, especially coming from the US where we rarely have to wait for anything. My patience lessons are many here. This is a positive lesson in my view, and just my reality.

The first: patience with adjusting. I am a flaming optimist, in case you didn’t know. So when I thought I’d just pick up and move to Bhutan, I was quite sure I’d adjust to the culture and my new life smoothly. And while I am very flexible and open, there are aspects that take getting used to. For starters, I don’t speak Dzongkha (or Sharchop, or Henki…). So while I try to learn words and phrases, it is going very slowly for me. So I am taking my time, trying the phrases I know and not getting too frustrated when communication breaks down. When a villager asks me "gatchi jo ni?" I just smile, use hand gestures, say the name of the place I am walking from, and it all works out even if both parties are totally confused in the end. I remind myself that I have 9 more months to get the hang of a conversation in the language. And as I tell my students here: our object in learning language is not perfection, it is trying. Simply giving it a shot, taking the risk of putting the words out there, making mistakes and learning.

Then, being sick. I have gotten a few bouts of illness, nothing serious though. I have to be patient with my body, which is very hard for me, even when I’m at home. I just want to run and walk and jump in rivers… but my body is reminding me that while we have had a few sunshiny days, it is still March at 3,000 meters and quite cold. The malady du jour: laryngitis. I’ll get over it, but it is taking a huge reserve of patience to make myself sit down and rest.

I am also adjusting to having a quiet social life (my one close friend is Dema, a teacher at the school). It can get quite lonely, but that’s ok. It makes me remember what a gift friends are. Even with the few friends I have, I am finding that developing friendships takes more time because my life before Bhutan doesn’t physically exist here, and there’s a lot they don’t know about the US. Skiing? A city of 400,000 people? It’s colder in Minneapolis than it is here? (yes, but buildings are heated in Minneapolis, especially school buildings...) I am learning where the gaps are in their knowledge, and my own.

The second: patience with daily life. Starting a fire. The fire going out. Starting the fire again. Boiling water to drink. Doing laundry by hand. Being cold all day at school. I finally got paid, after 2 months, so now I can pay my debts, which have been waiting patiently for me. And my package my mom sent me has not made it yet. Things happen when they will. The parts of daily life that require more time also require more attention and presence. I’ve learned that I can’t start a fire if I just want it going so I can move on to the next thing. I’ve got to stick with the process of it until its ready to be left alone, not when I think it should be ready to leave.

School is so different here. I am just taking my time getting used to the routines, but also the unexpected things that happen all the time. I am now a Class 6 Science teacher, and I have a library period with Class 2 (think 7 year olds). These classes seemed like enormous challenges when I got them assigned to me last week, but I am finding that I truly enjoy them. In Class 2, they don’t know a lot of English, but we’re having fun! I read to them in English and do all the voices and get really animated. They love it. They can recite all the library rules with actions (which we do before we leave the class to go there): quiet (shhh), hands to yourself (they put their hands across their chests), books back where they belong (they demonstrate sliding a book on a shelf). And Science! I love science! So that’s pretty fun that I get to be a scientist with my students for an hour a day.

Besides the fun at school, I have had to apply patience in dealing with the not-so-fun differences. I am trying to change the use of corporal punishment at our school. This is one thing that, while I need patience to see the full change, I have no patience in witnessing. It will take time for the teachers to learn and apply new methods, but I cannot see a better use of my time. I have formally presented alternatives to the teachers and plan to support them in all the ways I can (observation, coaching, articles to read). The principal has been very supportive and open thus far, and that gives me hope.

Here’s a quote I used in my “Responding to student behavior: classroom management, logical consequences, and positive rewards for positive behavior” presentation:

"Although violence and the use of force may appear powerful and decisive, their benefits are short-lived. Violence can never bring a lasting and long term resolution to any problem, because it is unpredictable and for every problem it seems to solve, others are created. On the other hand, truth remains constant and will ultimately prevail."

-His Holiness the 14^th Dalai Lama of Tibet

The third: patience for the whole journey- there’s a whole lot more to go before I come home and see my family and friends again. I am so grateful for the ability to connect with my family and Joe through email and phone. I love getting emails from people and am excited when they read the blog. It makes the experience a lot easier in that I get to connect back to my roots, draw in some love, and then radiate that out. It also brings perspective and problem solving when needed (I am also an external processor- I have to talk about things to get to a solution). So keep writing! I will too.